Sara Ferrer: [00:00:00] Welcome to Fearless and Flawed. Today we're joined by Wendy Meadows, a former family law litigator, turn coach, consultant, speaker, and author of Sparkle and Grit. Wendy spent years in the courtroom advocating for families before stepping into a new chapter that blends her legal expertise with her passion for helping women lead with clarity, purpose, and balance.

Serena Reynolds: And I'm Serena Reynolds. I help bold leaders become the go-to experts in their space. 

Sara Ferrer: And I am Sara Ferrer, an email marketing pro here to convert clicks into cash. Together we're two women in charge, diving into the fearless, the oh so flawed, and the fabulous journeys of female founders rewriting the rules.

Serena Reynolds: So let's dive in. Welcome to our show, Wendy. 

Sara Ferrer: Hi. Thank you so much. I love being here. 

Serena Reynolds: So Wendy, going from [00:01:00] a family law litigator to a coach, consultant, speaker, and author. What was the moment? You knew it was time to make this leap. 

Wendy Meadows: It was like many little moments, right? Many little teeny, tiny moments. But the one that sticks in my head the most is I was at the point in my career where I had started this health and wellness business, like as I was a family law litigator as well.

Wendy Meadows: And so every morning I was plugging into women. I was breathing life into women, and it felt really good and really amazing. So I did that at like, you know, 6:00 AM. Then four or five hours later, I'm in court and I'm cross-examining somebody, like a wife on the stand. I had never talked to her before. I had never met with her before.

Wendy Meadows: I only knew her based on what her husband had told me, and there I am, like cross-examining her, going through her credit card transactions and poking at her for buying like. Tory Birch shoes or something, and the look of [00:02:00] disgust he had for me and the look of disgust I felt in my soul, like, why am I tearing down this woman for buying a $60 pair of sandals?

Wendy Meadows: Like really, really is this what I am meant to do and who I am meant to be? No. And that's the moment that like sticks in my mind thinking, I, I don't wanna do this anymore. 

Sara Ferrer: Wow. And so what, like, just walk us through what got us to that point, because like, you know, you're, you're. You're this in your, in your field.

Sara Ferrer: Right. You're a litigator. I have to imagine that that took a lot of grit, resilience, climbing, and so like, just to like have that realization and then kind of move on. Mm-hmm. There has to be more to it of like, how did you get here? You beat the odds. You're probably, you know, I, I'm a. Assuming that women are maybe minorities in this field to begin with.

Sara Ferrer: I could be wrong. You can enlighten me, but like, was it 50 50 now? So like how, how did you get there? Because that is a very specific path [00:03:00] to take to where you are now. Like how'd you get there? 

Wendy Meadows: Well, it's really following the Hansel Gretel breadcrumbs or also say sparkles throughout like the many, many years.

Wendy Meadows: And I became a family law lawyer kind of accidentally, you know, it was, I became an attorney in oh five. The job market was tough, but I knew I either wanted to do family law because I was a kid of divorce and I wanted to help other kids too, or tax law, just 'cause I found it interesting. So, you know, I'm a weirdo.

Wendy Meadows: And then when you become a family law attorney again, it happens to you and it happens so fast. Like you start doing things and trying on this skin and this personality before you even know what you're doing and who you are. When I was 25 at the time, right? So at 25, I guess my prefrontal cortex had finally just developed.

Wendy Meadows: I was finally a person and then. I learned how to be this new person. So like that just happens to you 'cause you're not really thinking much about it at 25. Right? At 25 you're thinking, I need a job. I need to make money. I [00:04:00] like if you're in the lawyer world, I need to become a partner. I need trials, I need appellate work.

Wendy Meadows: You're just thinking of like climbing up that ladder and that's all your focus is. You're never really asking yourself, but do I like this? And is this who I am and do I love it? Instead you're just, you're just going through it. 'cause that's why you go to college. That's why you go to law school. It's like, I just need to keep climbing this ladder.

Wendy Meadows: So that's kind of where I was for a long time. And then my journey began in 2016 when I became, like I said, a health and wellness coach on accident. I didn't mean for that to happen, it just. Happened again. It was probably a lot of little baby steps that got me there too. So when I joined that world and I saw, oh my goodness, there's a life outside of Baltimore County law and there's a life outside of lawyers and the life outside of that.

Wendy Meadows: I was meeting women who were entrepreneurial. I was meeting women who taught me like all these cool things and. It was positive. It was about building up and making us our best selves and personal. I had never heard of personal development before, so [00:05:00] in the health and wellness industry, I learned all these things and I was like, oh, another life exists out there.

Wendy Meadows: And again, with like. Seeing the coaching from that world and lawyering in this world. I'm like, how can I merge the two? How can I bring the bright sparkly world? I always call it, I'm like, oh, it's so sparkly over here. How can I get this and deliver this to my law practice or deliver this to attorneys in a new way?

Wendy Meadows: So like those are the pieces that started to fall in place as I really started getting. More intentional with myself too. And again, also with personal development, right? Like reading Mel Robbins, the five second rule, reading Rachel Hollis, girl Wash Your Face, listening 

Wendy Meadows: to Deshante, he was like a Beachbody like trainer 

Wendy Meadows: and listening to their words and realizing, oh my gosh, like as they talked about living your best life and all of these things, like kind of feel like the life I'm living is a lie.

Wendy Meadows: Like I'm not aligned. And like hearing that like plugged in every day, whether it was my workout was what I was reading and just getting the sense of myself. I'm like, something's gotta change. 

Sara Ferrer: So you felt the, [00:06:00] the shift, right? You felt that shift and then the breadcrumbs. I love that kind of analogy too, right?

Sara Ferrer: 'cause it's little by little, which I appreciate. I think sometimes we hear these stories and we're waiting for like that big Serena calls it the sliding door moment, right? Like, and, and, and, and again, you, you have that right with the Tory Burch shoes and all that. But like, but then how do you. How do you then navigate like, okay, here's who I am, here's now my new interest.

Sara Ferrer: 'cause there's a lot of listeners who can relate to like, I'm not that person anymore, but that that person is paying the bills. That. Yeah. Yeah. 

Wendy Meadows: That person's routine is kind of, you know, well, I didn't like crash and burn my old life. Right. I wasn't like, I didn't like set fire to it and be like, I am walking away.

Wendy Meadows: You know, there's times I wish for things like that to happen. Like I wish to win the lottery. I wish that something would fall on my lap and make it easy. And I was hoping and hoping and hoping for that to [00:07:00] happen. And then. Two different things. One, the girl washed your face, quote, and she was like, no, no one's gonna do your life for you.

Wendy Meadows: I remember exactly where I was when I heard it, so I was listening to it like on Audible as I was driving, and I was like, oh. And then I had a conversation with my friend Stephanie, and I was like, I just need to win the lottery. She's like, but do you? I'm like, oh. So now, and I think those two inputs happened within like six months of each other, and then.

Wendy Meadows: So I just got to thinking, got to thinking, got to thinking. And at this time, like this health and wellness business was growing, right? So I was earning additional in like I was still full-time partner, making, you know, money there, paying the bills, et cetera, et cetera, feeding my family. But then the health and wellness income was growing too.

Wendy Meadows: I'm like, okay, well if I can make money here for the company paying me, what could I maybe do on my own? Right? And like the wheels started like turning So. I got to a place where I was finally comfortable enough to leave my firm emotionally. I knew I could [00:08:00] do it financially. I knew I could do it physically.

Wendy Meadows: I knew I would be a good solo, right? And I went to be, I went to be a solo attorney in 2018. Like, I wasn't worried about making it work here, but I knew I needed the time and space to figure it out. So one of the reasons I, I left my re. I left my firm for a lot of reasons. So one of the reasons I left is I knew I needed to give this other thing.

Wendy Meadows: I wasn't sure what it was yet, this other thing, time and attention. And I didn't wanna hurt my partners by taking time away from the law to work on this new thing. But nor did I want to share it with anybody and be like, my partners like, oh, well this should be a part of our firm. Like, no, you know, this is mine, this is mine.

Wendy Meadows: And then again, it's like slowly but league, I didn't say no to law. I didn't like shut down my law practice. I. But what I did is slowly but surely I started taking the dial on the law practice, which I was able to do as a solo and turn it down, which was freaking terrifying, right? 'cause how I turned it down was when I had these litigation moments.

Wendy Meadows: Also, another big turning point in litigation moments. February of 2020, I had three huge trials. [00:09:00] Usually family law attorneys, our cases settle and we have like one or two a year. I had three February of 2023, and they were all. Really hard and really draining and really exhausting, and I'm like, I can't do this anymore.

Wendy Meadows: I was beyond burnt out. I was exhausted. I was snippy. I hated it. I couldn't sleep. I'd be terrified. Look at my emails. I look at my email, email. My blood pressure went from here to here. I'm like, and I was like, something's gotta give. And I'm like. Okay, so I still need to make money and feed my family, but I have to like start saying no to litigation cases, no to trial and like turning up the dial on mediation, which I love.

Wendy Meadows: I, so I still do. I'm still a family law mediator. I fricking love it. So I had to turn back that dial, which also meant 2020. I had the most financially best year ever, and I had to say it's okay. That 2021 doesn't look as good as 2020. And that like hurt 'cause it hurts your ego and like your [00:10:00] cash flow looks different and do you make less money and you can't do all the things that like, sure we'll buy this.

Wendy Meadows: Sure, we'll wait that, well sure we'll go on this vacation. It was like, no, we gotta cut back. So 2021, cut back and I felt it Financially it didn't feel good. It didn't feel good on the money. But as time has gone on, and now we're in what, 2025? Like I've gotten to a point again, baby step, baby step. No more litigation, more mediation, more doing the work I like in my law practice.

Wendy Meadows: And slowly but surely my coaching and consulting business is growing, growing, growing, growing. And I'm at a place where my businesses go like this, right? So sometimes the law brings in 70% of income, the coaching's 30, and sometimes it's the other way. But like I'm at a place like this now and it's not pretty and it's not perfect.

Wendy Meadows: It's not like exact, I don't have time block scheduling where I coach in these hours and I lawyer in these hours. It's like this ever growing flow of stuff that works. 

Serena Reynolds: I, [00:11:00] I'd really, I, I'd like to go down, um. A, a slightly different path there. So my daughter has just got her university place here in, in, in London to go and study law, politics and history and all, all of this other stuff.

Serena Reynolds: And, um, I wonder whether there's just so much pressure on, on women to be so perfect and so powerful and so strong that the pressure is, is actually really heavy. Especially looking at law for a career and moving up that ladder and stuff like that. What, what kind of advice would you, I mean, do you feel as though a good thing?

Serena Reynolds: I dunno, I dunno where I was going with that question. It was just something that's sitting on me today. 

Wendy Meadows: So it is hard. It, it is like the, the advice I would give is sort of twofold. This is first. Maybe if you have attorneys listening who have been practicing 10 years and they are itchy and they're like, well, I wanna do what she's doing.

Wendy Meadows: And [00:12:00] or they're like, well, why did I go to law school in the first place? Or why did I get my grad whatever in the first place? I should have done this other thing That seems so much cooler. Right? Because there's a lot, like my coaching consulting job is really freaking cool. Like it's, I can't believe I get paid to do the work I do.

Wendy Meadows: And I, I love it. And it's, I, I just can't even believe it, 

Serena Reynolds: but it's law. It's, it's it's law. It's such a high status, high reputation career move. 

Wendy Meadows: And it is. And so that's like the thing I was gonna say, like, I don't regret it at all anymore. 'cause that legal degree has helped me in the coaching place. I just had to pay my dues in the legal space and I'm still paying my dues in legal space.

Wendy Meadows: But because it's prestigious and because you have instant credibility when you walk into a room, it, it helps me in the second business. So I think my advice is, you know, the law can provide so many cool things for you. It provides a different way to think, a different way to problem solve, a different way to make money.

Wendy Meadows: But you don't have to be stuck in it forever and you don't have to get in this, [00:13:00] was it like cattle car kind of thing? Or what? What am I trying to come up with? What's it called when you're like, you're stuck. You don't have to follow it that way. You can create your own path. But for like the young, young people, like, do you have to pay your dues and work really freaking hard?

Wendy Meadows: Yes. There's not a shortcut. Like you can have some self care and me time and all those things, but you also need, if you want, like you do need to work hard like it is, and not just work hard for the sake of working hard. But I don't, I think the younger generation, like people in their like mid twenties, mid to late twenties, are forgetting that they have this extra time to work really freaking.

Wendy Meadows: And they will learn faster. By working hard and doing more, you will learn faster to like faster accelerate to where you actually want to end up. So I guess an answer to your question, it is weighty. It is hard. I think we do put way too much pressure on ourselves, but that also comes when we get married and have kids and then there's even more pressure on us and like that's another conversation that needs to be

Wendy Meadows: addressed as well. 

Serena Reynolds: That's a great answer. Honestly, this has been something that's been weighing [00:14:00] on me for the last couple of days now. So you're a great guest to have this today. 

Sara Ferrer: Well, I think, I think, Wendy, I think you bring something up that's really refreshing too, is that when has there been a time where women haven't had pressure on them?

Sara Ferrer: Like I, I don't know a time when it was like, Hey, like I would argue that as a woman I would rather be alive in this very second than any other time in all of history because there's access and there's opportunity. But yes, it's hard, right? With with optionality comes. Hard, but also hard is also not having options.

Sara Ferrer: Right. So it sounds like you have really, I love this message of you have worked, you have learned, you have grown, and the most important part is you have evolved because now you're doing consulting. Now is your consulting primarily and coaching, is it primarily in the legal field with law firms? And if [00:15:00] so.

Sara Ferrer: What does that look like? And if it's not, what does the coaching, like who comes to you? What's the ideal profile of person and and what does Wendy Meadows offer them as a differentiator? 

Wendy Meadows: Love it. So it's like three buckets, but the bucket is, started with, the bucket was my avatar. Right. Which is burnt out lawyer moms.

Wendy Meadows: So that's who I started with. Or at least that's who my, my I was. Talking to in my marketing, right? Like the burnt out lawyer moms. 'cause I know her. I am her. I've been her. So started there and I, I still do that and I say I have a pretty good referral in like the law mom Facebook pages. There's a lot of lawyer mom Facebook pages.

Wendy Meadows: So when someone's looking for a life coach, you know, they find, they find me and I coach them in that way. And then we work on work, family, health and self. What I like about my coaching is I don't just look at. And I don't just look at like mindfulness. We, we, we tackle all four quadrants every time. Now because I help that professional high [00:16:00] achieving type A wants the a plus burnt out woman.

Wendy Meadows: Um, I also attract other people in similar fields. So it doesn't necessarily have to be a lawyer. It could be an accountant, it could be a realtor, it could be. On a doctor, it doesn't really matter. It's like we're, we're all cut. The, the cloth that we are cut from is typically we're married, we have kids, we're the breadwinner.

Wendy Meadows: We are, we are working our butts off. We are creating business. We bring in more money to our family, and we're still doing most of the parenting, at least most of the emotional lift of the parenting. It's like that is the woman I help. Now, that has evolved some, you know, like I said, so like the lawyer moms.

Wendy Meadows: In general, and I have men clients too. Like I have men who have hired me just because, you know, we're a good fit, lawyers and not lawyers. And then all of that has evolved too to now me helping law firms. So I help law firms either in two ways. See it just kind of keeps, again, I just keep following the breadcrumbs and things that are aligned.

Wendy Meadows: I say yes, right. So. People who want to open up their own solo practice, I get them their soup to [00:17:00] nuts beginning to end. I work with them to break up with their firm and I work with them to set up their systems and then I work with them their first month of billing. So they actually know how to make money, like how to put money into their pockets from their clients.

Wendy Meadows: Right. And then the other thing I do over here too is when the, A law firm has like a struggling associate who. If they wanna help, they're trying to help. Maybe the law firm doesn't, can't afford, they don't have like an HR department, but they know this person needs some coaching to become the attorney.

Wendy Meadows: They know that he or she can be, they'll hire me. I'll step in and I'll get them back to billing the hours it's supposed to bill. Maybe some mindset shifts, some confidence. Confidence shifts, some time management help. And I, I do that work as well. 

Serena Reynolds: So it's very specialist then. It's not just coaching, it's, it's very niche, which I, I think is such a.

Serena Reynolds: And who, who'd thought that it was need? I'm, I'm gonna be really dumb here, but who'd have thought it was needed? Um, in, in, in, in the way that, you know, we hear about lawyers [00:18:00] and law firms and they have such high regards that we don't think that they struggle. 

Wendy Meadows: Oh, goodness. I constantly call myself. I'm the keeper of all the secrets, right?

Wendy Meadows: I'm the keeper of all the secrets. People confide things in me, like left and right, like now, like throughout the country and like, oh gosh, oh gosh. We, I think all people have, in general have so many issues and are so far behind, and are so scattered and no one is on, like nobody I have met is on their A game.

Wendy Meadows: A hundred percent. Nobody, like it's, it's lies. It's lies. It's smoke and mirrors. It's people just pretending one thing, but. Nobody. Nobody. 

Serena Reynolds: I, what's it? I absolutely love that because I mean, we look at other people. Maybe we shouldn't compare ourselves so much, but it's very easy to see other people in.

Serena Reynolds: Especially the way society is set up with social media and stuff and see everyone winning. When you don't feel as though you are, it's very easy to fall into that trap of, oh God, it's [00:19:00] me. I'm doing it wrong. I've, I've got to sort this out. 

Wendy Meadows: Right. 

Serena Reynolds: So that's a, that's a great thing that you just shared. 

Sara Ferrer: I think, uh, Wendy, Wendy has pointed out something that, uh, one of our last conversations we had Serena, it was with an executive.

Sara Ferrer: Coach and she had said like, no, these people got like, the higher the, the career prestige, the more that's under, what did she say? The more that's under the hood. 

Wendy Meadows: Yeah. Right. 

Sara Ferrer: I kind of feel like Wendy's kind of alluding to that too, where it's like, Hey, like these people are high achieving here, but usually.

Sara Ferrer: In life, we have to have some type of balance, so, so there's lack of balance somewhere else. And I'm sure Wendy, that maybe that's where you come in, is that like, Hey, we're doing great here, but we're like drowning over here. Help us out. And so it sounds like you come in, you really assess the situation.

Sara Ferrer: You can be niche, but you can also really expand that to just high achieving, high stress, all that good stuff. And then at some point, this [00:20:00] fabulous book, sparkle and Grit. Live, uh, uh, live a technical life by finally finding balance, escaping mono monotony and beating burnout comes to fruition. You are an author now, and I, if anyone's watching this, as opposed to hearing this podcast, there is a bright.

Sara Ferrer: Pink colored book set right in the background of Wendy. She also has bright pink earrings on bright pink nails. She is like, she is the lady that you're like, she, there's a power, but there's this femininity, this sparkle and grit. Tell us about the book. How does that come? 'cause we all kind of wanna be authors in our head or most of us do.

Sara Ferrer: Right? But, but you are a bonafide author. 

Wendy Meadows: I'm a bonafide author, yes. Uh, the, the real answer how like it all happened is it's so crazy. All right. And again, it's more like following the breadcrumbs, right? Following the breadcrumbs, and anything that feels alive in your body, in your gut, like to say, okay. So how did [00:21:00] I get there?

Wendy Meadows: Okay. I'll give you, I'll try and make this as su succinct as I can. So again, in 2022, I think as the world was like opening again and kind of thinking, okay, what are my next steps? I became a life coach. I became a certified life coach in 2021, right? Yeah. I got the certification. Then I'm like, okay, well what else am I going to do with this?

Wendy Meadows: How am I going to expand? And I've been to all these legal conferences. I would love to go to a conference that's not legal, that's something cooler. Don't know what yet, but that was like percolating. Also, I was thinking, well, maybe I should start a podcast. I've not started a podcast yet, but I was like, maybe I should start a podcast.

Wendy Meadows: I dunno, because I was trying to think of like the next thing. Then I was like, okay, let's, I was on a walk with, I was on a walk outside. I'm like, I'm gonna find a legal podcast to see what the legal podcasts are like to see what they sound like. And can I do my own thing? I don't know. First legal podcast I found, I started listening to, it was Andrea Seger.

Wendy Meadows: I can't remember the name of the podcast. It'll come to me as I'm talking. It'll come to me. So then [00:22:00] I, she was like, and by, I can't remember what the podcast was about, like the topic. And she said, and by the way, I'm hosting a conference called Dream Bigger. It's in Arizona, it's I think in October. And you have to come and you have to get VIP.

Wendy Meadows: And I was listening to this and I was like, yes, I do. I have to go. I never listened to her podcast before. I knew nothing about her. I knew nothing about anything except for it sounded cool. Dream bigger. It sounded like it would be legal ish, but like the sparkly stuff. And I was like, all right, I'm going.

Wendy Meadows: So I came home, I Googled her, I found it, I registered for a VIP. Like it's, he told me to. You know, it's interesting when people tell you to do something, you do it. I told my husband, I'm going to Arizona. He is like, all right, you know, and I went, and the sad thing about the conference for her is like, it was very poor attended, poorly attended, like it should, there should have been 500 people there.

Wendy Meadows: I think there was 20. Like 20 actual paying people. Everyone else was a speaker or a friend. And I mean that no shade on her. It's [00:23:00] just like, you know, it's how things are happening. And because the conference itself was freaking in incredible, like amazing speaker after speaker, after speaker, like everybody on that stage was made for me.

Wendy Meadows: And because I was VIPI was second row, right. And I was like, I also had more, I got invited to other dinners and things because I signed up for VIP, so I actually got to like know the speakers as well. And again, it was like this whole event was made for me. And so one of the people there, his name is Jake Kelfer and he is the owner of Big Idea, the bestseller.

Wendy Meadows: He talked about how he was going to write and publish a book in 30 days. I'm like, that's crazy. May I think that's what he said. His book, he, he is high energy if you think I have a lot of energy. He's like the male version of me times 10, and his business is helping people write their book and getting it published and using self publish, self-publishing slash like his publishing house to get it out there and helping us achieve best seller status and like helping us through the whole process.

Wendy Meadows: And I met [00:24:00] him. I thought he was fantastic. And I was like, yep, that's the guy. Like that's the guy I'm gonna work with. Four months later I went with him, or I went to do a workshop with him in California. I got the idea for Sparkle and Grit. It's like didn't know what book I wanted to write. I just knew I wanted to write a book.

Wendy Meadows: I met with him, I did the workshop. I'm like, yes, this is it. And by doing that, I met the most amazing developmental editor I'll use the rest of my life. I met the most amazing editor I will use the rest of my life because she was 

Wendy Meadows: fantastic and. I did it. So I, I hired him in February, 2023 and I was done with my draft by June.

Wendy Meadows: 'cause it was in there, like the whole book was inside of me. And I signed up every morning. I sat down on my computer to write, and it just, the words literally, they, they could not, like my fingers, couldn't type fast enough. It was just like flowing out, flowing out, flowing out. And then. It was published September of 23 and the rest is history.

Wendy Meadows: And I'm working on a couple more now, you know? 'cause now like I know how to do it, you know, I know who [00:25:00] I'll hire for the editing process. And it's, I encourage, I encourage people to do it. 

Sara Ferrer: And what does the book, what does it give us? The high level, you know, the two liner. Like this book is gonna teach you X, Y, Z, or help you overcome a, b, D.

Wendy Meadows: This book will help you beat burnout and. Remind and I encourage everyone to read the book again and again and again. 'cause we, it's not like we beat burnout and it's over, right? Like we have to keep battling it. And I think it'll just teach you that you're not alone Really. Everyone who reads my book in the first couple chapters, they're like, do you have video, video cameras in my house?

Wendy Meadows: Because like, it feels like you're there. So I think the number one thing is they don't feel like they're so alone. They don't feel like judging themselves anymore. And they learn like really easy, ascertain, trainable ways to live a life that feels more authentic. 

Sara Ferrer: Uh, check, check, check. Like that sounds like, you know, sometimes people say things where, and I, I know that, you know, you're just so bubbly and so who you are, but the way in which you just express that, it's like, who wouldn't want that?

Sara Ferrer: Like, [00:26:00] like literally, who wouldn't want that? And it came across as so authentic and honest. And if you know, is it in bookstores or is it just on Amazon? Is it in bookstores? 

Wendy Meadows: It's on Amazon mostly. I believe it's in some bookstores. It's kind of wild. I don't even know how it gets. Picked up by all the certain, like you can buy it on all sorts of different platforms, including eBay, but like I encourage you go to Amazon, I encourage you to go to Amazon, but Amazon's like the, I probably the easiest way to purchase it.

Sara Ferrer: Right, right. I mentioned that again, only because if you are in a bookstore and happen to see the bright pink cover, like what what was is, I'm gonna take a gander. Hot pink. Your favorite color? Or is it just something that now has identified you versus like in the legal world, maybe it was a little bit more subdued or like, where is the hot pink coming in?

Wendy Meadows: Good. All three, hon. You nailed it. 'cause number one, it's one of my favorite colors. Like I love hot pink period. And number two, like as I became the lawyer that I felt comfortable being. I was like, why don't I wear the color? Like, I don't have to wear black and red, or I don't have to wear black and white, and, you know, like, let, let's be fun here.

Wendy Meadows: [00:27:00] So like, incorporating a little pink, a little pink, a little pink, and being bold and it just feels more aligned. It's fun. 

Sara Ferrer: How do you feel like people react to you when like, and again, it's, it's a color. It's not like you're showing up and you have like, you know, tassels in your hair and you're doing car wear.

Sara Ferrer: It's a color, but like, but when we first met, before we started recording, like the first thing is I was like, Hey ladies. Wow, great freaking earrings, girl. Like 

Wendy Meadows: I know it's. Like people know. Right. And it's funny, when I show up to places, I, most of my wardrobe now that I buy to is like black, hot pink. Like, it just, it makes life easier.

Wendy Meadows: And then I'll show up like, oh, do you always wear pink? I'm like, yes. Like some people say that, but then other people, they will see me, they'll, they'll know they're seeing me. And on purpose they will wear pink. They're like, I wore this for you. I did pink. I did this for you. Right? Or my friend Elena, she went to J.

Wendy Meadows: Crew factory store, bought the most beautiful pink coat and she, she thought she was going to use it. She hated it. She's like, okay, I'm gonna sell this to you. I'm like, amazing. Or like, she'll be at any of the stores and she is like, this is [00:28:00] hot pink. Do you want it? And she'll send me a text and I'm like, yes, yes, please buy it for me.

Wendy Meadows: Right? But it's. It all mostly positive, like super duper positive. 

Sara Ferrer: I had a, i, I have a friend, uh, in Boston who's the purple lady. Everything's purple. Like, like, and the thing is, like every single birthday I buy her something purple. I, it's one of those things too where I think we talk on this podcast about very high, big ideas and big emotions, and.

Sara Ferrer: I just love the simplicity of like, you like it, you enjoy it. It represents something. People identify you with something that's bright and cheerful. Like what an honor to be identified by something that's just fun as opposed to like, oh, they identify me as the lawyer. That's good, but like a fun color.

Sara Ferrer: Hey girl, this is on sale. Do you want it? I love, I could already just see the girlhood behind that. I'm not sure men geek out over colors like we do. Probably, probably not. Not to the same degree. No, not the ones I know. At least maybe Serena knows a couple that are [00:29:00] more, you know, a bit more open. 

Serena Reynolds: Well, I definitely know a few guys that are way more sparkly, 

Wendy Meadows: but, but in the UK too.

Wendy Meadows: In the uk, like they do such a better job with like the button downs, right? Like the, like the fun colors. Like I remember that's. Been the case for years, right? Like much more fun color over there. 

Sara Ferrer: You are right. You are absolutely right. It's like, you know, Elton John invented all that and the us, us Americans are still just trying to figure out how to incorporate sparkle.

Serena Reynolds: Elton, 

Serena Reynolds: Elton 

Serena Reynolds: John is not a typical Englishman. There's not that many of them. We have the eccentric crowd. Fair enough. You just need to go to LA or New York. You know they're there. 

Sara Ferrer: That's true. That's true. That's true. West Hollywood. That's where you need to go in la. Then you'll see sparkle and a little grit.

Serena Reynolds: You know, we just have that beautiful English campness around us, so you know, I mean, you might as well live it. [00:30:00] 

Sara Ferrer: Exactly. We'll embrace it now at this, at this point in the of, of the podcast. Serena, I, I think that you have, do you have our, our little secret question or a little surprise question for Ms. Wendy, because at this point we like to kind of.

Sara Ferrer: Playfully catch you off guard without too much of an aha moment. And we'd like to ask questions, a question from a previous guest. Now remember, our guests run the gamut of different jobs, careers, mentalities, and all that. So what do we got for Ms. Wendy for her Question, Serena, what do we have from our previous guest?

Serena Reynolds: This is a great question for Wendy and how, how, how weird how this. Often happens how the question from a previous guest who has no idea anything about you at all and actually poses a question. That's really interesting. So for you in particular, Wendy, what do you do when you feel raw and vulnerable? 

Wendy Meadows: Oh, [00:31:00] 

Wendy Meadows: it's 

Wendy Meadows: a, I'm gonna give you a typical lawyer 

Wendy Meadows: answer.

Wendy Meadows: It depends. It depends. 

Sara Ferrer: Walk us through it. Take your time. Some of these, some of these questions are very layered and not as easy as like, what's your favorite ice cream flavor? So we get that. There's, there's time. 

Wendy Meadows: Well, first I'm gonna walk you through what my body is feeling as you ask me that question, right?

Wendy Meadows: I. I do think it's important for women especially to get really in tune with what goes on in ourselves so we can recognize it and then know how to deal with it, right? So you say it, and I'm trying to put my place into a self of raw and vulnerability, which has happened a lot in the last couple months, and I feel a little bit like suffocated and I feel like a little bit like I can't breathe and my stomach is kind of going like this, and I'm almost like, I feel like tears in the back of my eyeballs.

Wendy Meadows: And they're like, I can't catch a breath. I cannot breathe a full freaking breath. 

Serena Reynolds: I'm actually going to add to this, this is exactly what me and Sara said last week when we heard, heard this question and it was like, how is that, what, what emotion has that invoked in [00:32:00] you? 

Sara Ferrer: And it, we felt naked the minute she said it.

Sara Ferrer: We felt naked. It wasn't even directed towards us, but I'm like, oh, that's too 

Sara Ferrer: much. Oh, I don't wanna ask that. What. 

Serena Reynolds: So, so we we're, we can relate to this already, right? 

Wendy Meadows: So my knee jerk reaction, honestly is to probably like, have a bit of a hissy fit, hopefully by myself, hopefully, where no one else is around and I'm just like yelling at things and walking around my room and like yelling and da, da, da.

Wendy Meadows: And hopefully no one is home. Or hopefully I'm in my apartment or my office by myself so no one can like hear. So that that's, and this is being as honest as I can be. 'cause like it's like that's my first initial, like, ah, or I might be annoyed with some, or if it's via text and someone texts me an annoying text, then I am opening my text and I'm like, you know, like texting something back, voice the text and makes no sense.

Wendy Meadows: And then I'm like, if I'm in a good headspace, do I need to hit send on this? 

Wendy Meadows: [00:33:00] So then I take a minute 

Wendy Meadows: and then usually it's like, okay, Wendy, how can you reset? What else is going on? So then I start talking to myself, right? Then I start, okay, well what else is going on? Why is this hitting you so hard? And maybe it's a perfectly rational thing and maybe it's something not.

Wendy Meadows: And like trying to get really curious about the situation and then thinking, okay, what do I need to do to get this bad feeling to go away? 'cause I don't want to sit in this feeling and or. If I'm, if I'm being true to like my therapist, right? Do I need to sit in this feeling? Because it's important for me to sit in this feeling.

Wendy Meadows: So I probably ask myself that. Like, do I need to sit in this feeling? Do I need to be sad? Is it appropriate for me to be sad and be here? Or is it like, this is stupid, like I, I need to get out of this. So then I probably ask myself that. Then I think a lot, right? Then I'm like, okay, when usually it ends in, and this is different than how it used to be.

Wendy Meadows: It ends in, you need to go to bed early tonight. You need no booze. Do not drink wine. Do not eat sugar. Do not watch tv. That's what I used to do. What I used to do was wine, sugar, tv to [00:34:00] blunt the bad feeling right. Yeah. Right. I mean, I, I like the Trader Joe's chocolate chip cookies. Ooh. Now that Trader Joe makes 

Wendy Meadows: Oh, 

Wendy Meadows: everything.

Wendy Meadows: No, all the things cookies. Have you, do you guys have tried Trader Joe's? No, 

Sara Ferrer: but I already could imagine what all the delicious things consist of. 

Wendy Meadows: Like chocolate, marshmallow, rice, crispy. I don't even, it's so good. Anyway, that's what I used to do, you know? And then, but now it's like, no. Like half a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc, like, no, not anymore.

Wendy Meadows: No. So now it's like, go to bed early, wake up, get yourself to Orange Theory or yoga or Run, because that's what's gonna make you feel better. Like it might be just like getting through the rest of the day, having your feelings, sitting in your feelings, and then. Like how can I reset in the morning? And I always, always, always reset with decent sleep in a workout.

Wendy Meadows: And then things get better because it completes, I mean, it completes the burnout cycle. I'm sure other guests have talked about burnout and like the escaping the lion and then getting to [00:35:00] safety, like doing that workout and the breath that, you know, we didn't have when we were scared. Completes the cycle and gets us to a better place.

Serena Reynolds: I knew you were the perfect guest for this question. 

Sara Ferrer: Yeah, that was so good. You know, we often hear, and it's no shade to anyone else, sometimes we hear the cookie cutter things like, I just take a walk. Which, no, I mean, walking is good, but it's kind of like that anti climactic, like when you go to a therapist or you go to a doctor and you really present this raw feeling you're having and they're like, just drink water.

Sara Ferrer: And you're like. Okay. I feel right. I, I feel like that's not a bad idea, but I also feel like that's, I would like to develop to be a human that just chugs water when I'm raw and vulnerable and then resets in 30 seconds. So the fact that you said the hissy fit. You know, thank you. Because I think that's really relatable.

Sara Ferrer: Is that like we have to put that ball of energy somewhere. Ideally it's not towards another person. 'cause that's not productive. [00:36:00] Ideally it's not self-harming. Right. Which it doesn't sound like that's even in the realm, but, but there is such a thing, as my therapist likes to say, as protesting that is perfectly healthy to protest in a way where this doesn't.

Sara Ferrer: Feel good, and whether that's through tears, which release stress or just screaming in your office or just talking to the wall about how Suzy Q is such a bitch. Like I use Suzy Q all the time too. She's always, I use her all the time, all the time. Or Suzy, I'm sure there's just Suzy Q out there who's an angel.

Sara Ferrer: Um, but, but no, I really appreciate that. 'cause I think, you know, through hearing, and I'm curious, Serena, if, if you've got the same feeling like we've, we do ask a lot of women, what do you do? Not necessarily raw and vulnerable. 'cause that's a little bit more. Intimate, if you will, but like, how do you deal with stress?

Sara Ferrer: And so many times I am left feeling like there's an incomplete answer. Like there's a, [00:37:00] there there's a reality that there's, there's, there's a wall that's not being crossed where it's like, you know what I do, I fucking freak out in the beginning and then I take the walk or you know, I, I like you said, Hey, I have.

Sara Ferrer: Right. I have a couple drinks and, and again, I'm not condoning and saying that's the right way, but like in order to share how we get better, tell us how you got better. And sometimes you really have to have that effort moment. 

Sara Ferrer: Yeah. Yeah. 

Serena Reynolds: You really do it. It's, it's good for you to have those moments.

Wendy Meadows: Otherwise we're just like bottling, bottling, bottling, bottling more. 

Sara Ferrer: Yeah. Yeah. And then you have the outlet of sleep, which I think is so big. And then the workout. And is the workout you, you said. Now what I found very interesting is you, you mentioned two very different types of workouts. You mentioned yoga, which tends to be a bit more.

Sara Ferrer: Calm. It can be, it can be I guess if you're doing hot yoga a bit more, you know, and, but then you also mentioned orange theory, which I've only gone once and it's like cardio [00:38:00] weightlifting. 

Serena Reynolds: I, I dunno what orange theory is, but I also have never found yoga to be that calming and 

Serena Reynolds: not, not real yoga. 

Serena Reynolds: I mean there, there obviously is that, that style, the meditative style, but yoga's hard.

Sara Ferrer: Yoga is hard. But I guess compared to Orange Theory, can you just explain what Orange Theory is? 

Wendy Meadows: Yeah, so Orange Theory, essentially it's a mix of treadmill, like sprints, like sometimes sprints, sometimes all out, sometimes just like running base, you know? So do you have its grower 

Serena Reynolds: high intensity training?

Serena Reynolds: Is it like that? 

Wendy Meadows: Yeah. It's like that. So you have to sign up for a class. Like you don't, it's not like the gym and you just go like, there's certain classes and then the coach leads you through the workouts. There's usually really good music. They tell you when to like increase your speed or your incline and then like you go over to like the weights and you do like the weights in a certain way and it's like, it's a really good workout.

Wendy Meadows: It's like really effective. It's really good. It's high intensity, it's loud and it. You feel amazing and you sweat a bunch the same. I do hot yoga, I [00:39:00] do do hot yoga, and you do sweat a bunch. But it's also, I started like going in earnest in October of last year. So now we're October, November, December, January, February, March, April.

Wendy Meadows: Oh my gosh. Like 10 months. So I have noticed, I know, it's crazy, right? So I'm like a person now, like a, a real yogi, but like my calm has like. It's, I have a new sense of calm since it, but again, like with all like the sweating and everything else, and it's a really good to stretch me out from Orange theory because I haven't been injured.

Wendy Meadows: I haven't had to go to the chiropractor since January, which is, that tells you something, right? Like I haven't, like, I've been working out intensely, but I haven't needed to get adjusted. I think the yoga is doing it now. I just, I honestly, I love all workouts. I've never done CrossFit, but they all make me happy in different ways.

Wendy Meadows: So, but those are the two that. 

Sara Ferrer: Girl, get me in a hot yoga class. I, I used to do it and let me, it was great. It's one of those things that went done consistently. And I'm curious, like I slept better. I also just feel like you're [00:40:00] so drained from the class. I'm like, I've sweat out every single, you know, every single bit of hydration that I don't even have the energy to be raw and vulnerable and mad at, or pistols.

Sara Ferrer: Right. You feel that way after like a work hour after whatever strenuous exercise, you're like, I can only devote this energy now to taking a shower and going to bed. Like I can't. But I think that's the whole point, right? Of like you've kind of put that. Hissy fit into something productive, and then you look up and you carry on.

Sara Ferrer: And so with, with the carrying on and with kind of knowing how you deal with raw and vulnerable, what does the future look like? Because naturally, you know, that can be a very, what's next for Wendy? What's the next step? Are we writing volume two of the book? Uh, 

Wendy Meadows: all right. So real raw and vulnerable answer.

Wendy Meadows: Um hmm. So my husband and I decided we're getting divorced. And first time I talked about in a [00:41:00] podcast, 'cause we finally told 

Serena Reynolds: you need a family litigator. 

Wendy Meadows: Right? No, no, no, no. Uh, that's fine. It's fine. And I've always wanted to write the book, or not always, but even for this past several years. The book on my heart is to write Sparkle and Grit for the divorcing parent and approach it from a way of like.

Wendy Meadows: Personal development and breathing life into women and men and from like a practical perspective and helping people choose what divorce process is the best for them, right. And giving them a really good education and like real talk. And it's funny, as I, and I started writing it like two, three years ago for fun.

Wendy Meadows: Like, just like not for, you know, whatever. But I'm like, but I'm not divorced. I'm not divorced. Is that like a problem? I'm writing this book, not divorced. Not expecting this to be happening and not getting divorced for the purpose of writing the book. Right. You know, but like, but I have this new going through it myself and like even we're at the very beginning stages, like we're separating next month and we'll start something called nesting, but it's really [00:42:00] enlightening.

Wendy Meadows: Like I've always been on this side of the table to sort of think of it from, or to be on that side of the table or just look, actually experience it and. Really try hard to listen to all the advice I've given clients for the last 20 years and apply it to myself and apply it to the situation. But I, I do see something coming out of this.

Wendy Meadows: I don't know what, you know, but I do see it's going to increase my perspective in a new way, and I can't imagine that's not going to shape my coaching in the future. I, I, I can't, Ima like, I. All these things have happened for a purpose. And the good news, I'll say, my husband and I are extremely amicable to the point where we've told most of our friends and we announced it to the rest of our friends.

Wendy Meadows: We're hosting a big party on Labor Day together at our house and saying, you don't have to switch, or we don't have to choose sides like we are good. Like our plan is to be good, to be good friends. When we meet our new significant others, all four of us will hang out and like be like a. Weird Brady Bunch situation.

Wendy Meadows: Like that's what we both want, but um, we're trying real hard. [00:43:00] 

Serena Reynolds: Yeah. From business colliding to, to create your next steps following your breadcrumbs. 

Wendy Meadows: It is, it's not a breadcrumb, I expect either of us expected, you know, and it's just sort of, 

Serena Reynolds: well, none of us marry, married to not be married. None of us start that journey, but, you know, it happens and 

Wendy Meadows: does, 

Sara Ferrer: and also it sounds like, you know, from, from hearing.

Sara Ferrer: How you've adapted and reinvented yourself so much. And again, we didn't, we never like to reinvent ourself through things that are not, you know, one thing is a career change, the other is like a marital change. Those are really two different, you know, levels of, of reinventing. And so obviously some reinvention is preferred over others.

Sara Ferrer: I, I have to say as, as someone who's heard your journey, now you're going through it and like your authenticity at telling it like it is, but also that other part of your brain that is able to synthesize information and structure it out that legal side, you know, I think wherever it takes you, [00:44:00] the gift is at, there's a gift now of perspective where, like you had said, like, and that's a tough gift in, in this situation, right?

Sara Ferrer: Who really wants that perspective of having the drop of the rollercoaster, but. If, if your story up to this point is any indicator of how grit will be handled, I have a feeling that that not only will the book be a bestseller naturally, but the impact you will have and, and, and, and the, the satisfaction.

Sara Ferrer: Because one thing is having impact, the other is like, fuck, like I helped that person get through it. I, I just have a feeling from your essence and even how you're talking about kind of approaching it, that, you know, in a year or two when we check back in, well, maybe not two, let's not wait that long. But, you know, I, I'm really curious to see how Wendy 2.0.

Wendy Meadows: Yeah, me too. You be very good coach. This is very good coaching you're doing. 

Sara Ferrer: No, I really, I, I do because I, I think a lot of [00:45:00] times too, like when these tough things happen, and again, I can't say this enough, like we're not honest about things being tough. This sucks. Well, we're navigating it the best we can, but the first thing is like the awareness that it's.

Sara Ferrer: Tough. So listening to it makes me feel like I wanna be on Wendy's journey, you know, and people listening. And I wanna read the book because it's not, everything's great. Uh, it's, no, this kind of is, is sucky, but we're figuring it out and I appreciate that message. 'cause honestly, like Serena said earlier, in a world of social media and sparkles, sometimes it's just shitty.

Sara Ferrer: But we're gonna pour a little glitter on it and have a Labor Day party and we're gonna. Figure it out and there might be tears and hissy fits, but that's why Orangetheory is there. I love it. I love it. I'm coming to Maryland to hang out on Labor Day with you, girl. 

Wendy Meadows: You should. You should. 

Sara Ferrer: I know. I feel like you guys are gonna have a great, what 

Sara Ferrer: is it?

Sara Ferrer: Hot dogs and hamburgers on the menu. What do you do? 

Wendy Meadows: Oh. That it we're doing. He's, we have a smoker, so we're gonna do pooled pork [00:46:00] tacos. I'm gonna make a special slaw for the vegan people. We have a fun pool. A really fun pool, and the big drink in Maryland is orange crushes. Are you familiar with the Orange Crush?

Wendy Meadows: Oh, so it's with Crunchy Ice, you know, crunchy ice. 

Serena Reynolds: Yep. 

Wendy Meadows: Like Chick-fil-A. 

Serena Reynolds: We have slushies. Yeah. 

Wendy Meadows: So, but it's like, but it's not like that. It's more like, like little nugget nugget ice. Nugget ice nugget ice. So nugget ice. Oh, so good. So good. And then it's like fresh squeezed orange oranges. We have one of those fancy juice makers that like the orange drops in.

Wendy Meadows: Yes. Good. And then vodka. Vodka Sprite. It is the best summer drink. It is so good. So we'll have that too. So you should definitely, you should come. 

Sara Ferrer: I'm happily married, but I'm grill. I'm girl crushing. I'm just saying in my next life, I might look up Wendy Meadows and say, Hey girl. Hey girl. I just wanna be your neighbor.

Sara Ferrer: I just wanna, I just wanna drink the Orange Crush. That sounds delightful. And tell our listeners if they are equally as enamored with your, [00:47:00] just your personality, your optimism, your realistic authenticity. Where can people find you? You know, mention again, the best place to get the book, to learn more about Wendy's Journeys.

Wendy Meadows: Uh, Amazon for the book, sparkle and Grit. I have a journal too. I recommend buying that on my Life Coach website. You know, on the Sparkle and Grit website, all lied sparkle and grit.com. But the best way to really to like get a taste of what I have to offer for free, I believe on the Sparkle and grit.com one, you can register and get the pause time playbook and it's like a seven day journal journey.

Wendy Meadows: That's the kinda way to say journal journey. And again, email from me every day. You get like some journal pages, like journal on the way that I do every day. And I think that's a really neat way to get like a week of coaching. You know, like. Asynchronously, right. For free. So I think that's a nice way. But then otherwise, Instagram, the pause time playbook.

Wendy Meadows: I just wanna make sure It's called the Pause Time playbook. Correct. 

Sara Ferrer: Perfect. 

Wendy Meadows: Pause Time, playbook. And then Instagram, Wendy s Meadows, [00:48:00] LinkedIn. But those, that, that, that's where I hang out the most. I like doing a lot of Instagram stories. It's, it's a fun place to, so 

Serena Reynolds: Wendy, we have one more question for you.

Serena Reynolds: We need a question for our next guest. 

Sara Ferrer: Yes, we do. We do need 

Serena Reynolds: a question. Go without our question. What would you like to ask our next guest? 

Wendy Meadows: Ah, ah, 

Serena Reynolds: make it a tough one. Go on. Give him a hard time. 

Wendy Meadows: I know. So, um, this is not a topic we broached on, but I bet you it's gonna happen now to your next guest. Right.

Wendy Meadows: So I'm gonna give a precursor and then the question. So like, so many of us females, like live in our masculinity and our masculine energy. So in what ways, this is my question. Yes. In what ways have you noticed like you're leaning too much in your masculine energy has hurt you, and how do you. In what ways do you plan on or can you lean into your feminine so you have some more balance there?

Sara Ferrer: Oh, I love [00:49:00] that. I have, I have recorded that. I love that. I don't think we've ever had any type of question like that asked in masculine energy, fem. It's just never been brought up really in, in a question. I think that's a great, 

Serena Reynolds: I'm glad I was. I wouldn't know how to answer it. 

Sara Ferrer: You know, every now and then we do have a guest.

Sara Ferrer: Like you remember Brianna, Serena, our guest, Brianna, where like asked her this like very raw, vulnerable question and, and, and Brianna's a dear friend of mine to begin with, and she's like a, a, a travel agent and she was just like, oh, this is too deep. She was, this is too deep. But like, that was like her, she's like, no.

Sara Ferrer: Next, is there a different question? Question. And so I appreciate this question because it's, it's, it's not the raw and vulnerable question that was deep and you answered it perfectly, but this is more of just like, yeah, feminine, masculine, all of us kind of deal with it to a degree. There's thinking without getting too naked in our feelings.

Sara Ferrer: So I don't know [00:50:00] if the next person is a, they own a construction company, they won't feel like. Yeah. Who are these ladies? 

Serena Reynolds: We, we haven't had a construction entity. We haven't had that yet. 

Sara Ferrer: Always to be seen though. And so, uh, for all of our listeners, as always, we will have. Wendy's information, where to find her.

Sara Ferrer: Instagram, she had mentioned, uh, you know, sparkling grit.com, pause time playbooks that, that you can download. All of that will be on our website, fearless and Flawed. So that way if you miss something, just go to the website and you can connect to Wendy directly. And so, Wendy, this has been absolutely wonderful.

Sara Ferrer: You have literally fulfilled the title of being Fearless and flawed and every, and I say that. With all that sparkle and grit. So thank you. And you know, we just can't wait to see. We will follow up with you in emails and just conversation to see where the journey takes you. But thank you for sharing your journey up to this point and we will be [00:51:00] in touch.

Wendy Meadows: Awesome. Sounds 

Wendy Meadows: great.