Decide your boundaries before the work starts, say them early, put them in writing, and hold them the first time they’re tested. Most difficult clients are a mismatch of expectations that nobody named at the start. If the expectations are clear and they still trample them, let them go.
The polite advice is “communicate clearly.” Thank you. You did. You sent a lovely, warm, beautifully formatted email. They replied at 11:47pm with “quick question” and seven attachments.
Boundaries are easy to preach and hard to hold when rent is due. One PR agency founder admits she’s been in “that place where it’s like some client is better than nothing.” Every founder has. Nobody hands out medals for turning down the first invoice.
The other problem is borrowed boundaries. Instagram says phone off at 5pm. Great, if your business works that way. Hers doesn’t. If a journalist gets back to her at six, she wants that call, and if they want an interview at seven at night, she makes it happen. Copy someone else’s rules and you get a business that fits them.
Decide your rules before you need them
Write down three things: when you’re reachable, how fast you’ll reply, and what happens when an invoice is late. Yours, not some Instagram coach’s. As she puts it, “a lot of it comes down to boundaries and figuring out what you’re willing to work with and what you’re not willing to work with. And that might be different for different people.”
Say them on day one
A boundary you keep to yourself is just a grudge with a filing system. Her approach is “to communicate that to the other people involved as early on as you can and then stick with that.” Then watch what happens. “Sometimes that weeds out the wrong person.” Good. Let it.
Put it in writing, payment date included
Even the law agrees, at least in New York City. Under the city’s Freelance Isn’t Free Act, contracts worth $800 or more must be in writing and spell out the work, the pay and the date you get paid. If no payment date is agreed, the hiring party must pay within 30 days of the work being done. Wherever you are, borrow the idea. Scope, price, payment date, in writing, signed.
Stop work when the money stops
Early on, she had clients who paid by mailed check and didn’t mail it. She’d ask to collect it “like five times in a month.” Looking back, her verdict is refreshingly honest: “I mean, I allowed that, right?” She could have paused the work until it was paid. Write that pause into your terms now, so it’s a policy and not a confrontation.
Under-promise, then over-communicate
A lot of “difficult” clients are anxious clients who don’t know what you’re doing. Her rule is “under promise and over deliver,” plus regular updates so clients know you’re working behind the scenes. A two-line Friday email (“Here’s what moved, here’s what’s next”) prevents a surprising number of 11:47pm attachments.
Know when to let them go
If you’ve set the rules, said them out loud, put them in writing and they still don’t land, the client isn’t difficult. The fit is wrong. Finish the agreed work, hand over cleanly, and refer them on with your best wishes and none of your evenings.
Hear it from someone who’s done it
Alessandra Pollina, founder of the PR agency Quotable Media, got the blunt version of this question and gave an honest answer, including the years she didn’t take her own advice. Jump to 35:23 for the boundaries talk and the check she chased five times in one month, or listen to the full episode.
Questions women ask about difficult clients
How do I set boundaries with clients?
Decide them first, then say them before the work starts, in the proposal or kickoff call. Put response times and payment terms in the contract. Then hold them the first time they’re tested, because the first time sets the rule.
How do I fire a client?
Kindly, in writing, with an end date. Finish what you’ve agreed, hand over files, and skip the long explanation. “This isn’t the right fit going forward” is a complete sentence.
How do I handle tough clients without losing them?
Find out what’s driving the behavior. Anxious clients calm down with regular updates. Clients who push scope need a written scope to point to. If they only stay when you have no boundaries, you weren’t keeping a client. You were keeping a problem.
Next step: the easiest client to manage is the one who already knows what you’re like before they hire you. Conceptiv builds the visibility and content that brings those clients in.