Stop watching yourself and talk to one person. Most camera nerves come from monitoring your own face, and other people notice far less than you think (in one Cornell study, people guessed twice as many observers noticed them as actually did). Then do it often enough that it gets boring, because boring is what comfortable feels like.
You run meetings. You close deals. You once talked a supplier down before your coffee went cold. Then someone presses record and you forget your own surname, your hands become foreign objects, and you say “um” like it’s a paid sponsor.
Why it’s harder than it sounds
The polite advice is “just be yourself!” Brilliant. Which self? The one who’s sharp in a meeting, or the one staring at a tiny rectangle of her own face, noticing for the first time that she blinks like a startled owl?
That rectangle is the problem. In a room, you look at other people. On camera, you look at you. And you are a harsh critic.
Psychologists have a name for the feeling that everyone is watching. They call it the spotlight effect. In a 2000 study at Cornell, students were sent into a room wearing a T-shirt with Barry Manilow’s face on it, then asked to guess how many people noticed. Their average guess was exactly twice the number who actually did. Barry Manilow’s whole face got half the attention they expected. Your slightly shiny forehead has no chance.
What actually works
Turn off your own face
Most video tools let you hide your own tile. Do it. You don’t watch yourself in meetings, and you don’t need to watch yourself here. Look at the lens, or better, at the person you’re talking to.
Talk to one person, not “the audience”
“The audience” is terrifying. Brenda from accounts is not. Pick one real person who’d find this useful and talk to them. This is why conversations on camera feel easier than speeches to camera. You’ve got someone to look at who isn’t you.
Know your first line and your last line
The middle takes care of itself if you know your subject, and you do. The panic lives at the start and the end. Write those two lines down. Say them out loud twice. Then stop rehearsing, or you’ll sound like a hostage reading a statement.
Do it until it’s boring
Comfort on camera is mostly familiarity. The tenth video feels nothing like the first, the same way the tenth sales call doesn’t. Keep the bar low and the frequency high.
Pick a format that suits you
If you’re an introverted extrovert, happy to make noise but allergic to the stage, a solo talk-to-camera video is the hardest possible format. An interview is the gentlest. You ask questions, you listen, you react. Half the time the camera is on someone else.
Hear it from someone who’s done it
Serena Reynolds, co-host of this show and founder of Conceptiv, prefers to be behind the curtain. Then she sat in the guest chair herself. Her honest verdict: “And I feel the moment I’m in front of this camera, I feel like an idiot.” Her tongue felt three times its size. Her words went missing. “This isn’t who I am. This is just the situation I’ve put myself into.” She did it anyway, because “If I want to grow my business, I need to put my business first.” Jump to 48:10 on YouTube, or listen to the full episode.
Questions people ask
How do I stop looking awkward on video?
Hide your self-view, sit so the camera is at eye level, and talk to one real person. Most “awkward” is self-consciousness, and other people spot it far less than you do.
Do I need to be an extrovert to be good on camera?
No. Plenty of people who are great on camera find it draining. Pick formats that play to how you work, like interviews and conversations, instead of forcing yourself into a solo performance.
How do I speak with confidence in public?
Prepare your opening and closing, know your material, and practice in front of real people, not a mirror. Confidence on stage is mostly repetition wearing a nice outfit.
Do I need fancy equipment?
Not to start. Good light from the front, a decent microphone and a quiet room do more than an expensive camera. Get comfortable first. Upgrade later.
Next step
If you’d rather have a conversation than give a speech, Captrr, Serena’s company, makes podcasts for experts who’d rather do the talking than the editing. You’ll spend most of the hour looking at your guest, not yourself.