ElizabethCarringtonEp22
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Serena Reynolds: [00:00:00] Welcome to Fearless and Flawed. I’m Serena and I make brands stand out from the noise, elevating thought leaders to the go to experts.

Sara Ferrer: And I’m Sara Ferrer, an email marketing pro converting clicks into cash. Together we’re two women in charge, diving into the fearless, flawed, fabulous journeys of female entrepreneurs.

Serena Reynolds: Each week we chat with incredible women, breaking boundaries, sharing their wins, and keeping it real about the messy parts of success.

Sara Ferrer: Because fearless is not flawless. It’s bold, brave, and unapologetically you. So let’s get into it. Today we are joined. We have a real special treat. We are joined by Elizabeth Carrington.

Sara Ferrer: She is the founder of the Life Attunement Coaching Method and a master certified coach with nearly 30 years of experience. She is dedicated [00:01:00] to empowering high achieving women to step into their authentic power by helping them release limiting patterns. And unlock their wild, sacred selves. Yes. So welcome, Elizabeth.

Serena Reynolds: Thank you. So, Elizabeth, you’ve been a, you’ve been a coach for 30 years, but you’re not just a coach. You do lots of things in that, in that area. Let’s start off with what it is that you do and what people should know about you.

Elizabeth Carrington: Well, it’s great to be here. Thank you for inviting me. I really appreciate the, yeah, the warm welcome.

Elizabeth Carrington: I have been coaching for a long time and I, I look back at like, how did I, you know, we all morph into different versions of ourselves over the course of a lifetime. And certainly professionally, especially if we like to learn and grow and expand our horizons, like a lot of people that we hang out with do, um, including yourselves, of course.[00:02:00]

Elizabeth Carrington: And so, you know, I, I, I kind of go back to go forward. So kind of going back to my, A little bit of my history to understand sort of how I got here, I think makes the most sense because it is because of my history that I became a life attunement coach and even. What is that anyway? So I, I promised to get there.

Elizabeth Carrington: So the backstory in a little bit of , not too much detail, but, , grew up kind of in a Irish Catholic home, lots of small kind of ideas about, in my opinion, as a light, you know, like a little adventurous spirit, I want to go see the whole world right away and do it now. I, I felt like I came from a very kind of , enclosed bubble of an environment.

Elizabeth Carrington: And so the first chance I had, you know, I wanted to get out. Which I, which I did by seeing a group in the fourth grade called Up With People. And Up With People was an [00:03:00] international traveling service leadership organization. And I went to see this show with my dad on one side and my swim coach on the other, it turns out.

Elizabeth Carrington: And, , and I said at the ripe age of however old you are in the fourth grade, I’m going to do this someday. Now, mind you, uh, there were 8, 000 people traveling around the world in five different groups and I was in fourth grade. I couldn’t even go until after I finished college if I was going to go at all.

Elizabeth Carrington: But I just sort of, this was a moment in my life which defined this ability to kind of chart my own destiny, if you will, or, or determine a goal in midair that had no reason to be, I didn’t come from a wealthy family. I didn’t even come from a, you know, it was like, we didn’t have a lot of money. My father was a teacher and my mother stayed at home and took care of all three of us.

Elizabeth Carrington: And so it wasn’t like, Oh, I’m going to go travel the world in fourth grade was a realistic idea, but I, so I just said that, you know, and then I went through my life and I [00:04:00] did my thing. And, and then I. Got into college and, and I remember seeing a note. I was in college and at Clark in Worcester, Massachusetts.

Elizabeth Carrington: And I remember seeing a note that up with people is going to be coming to Manchester, Massachusetts, you know, uh, on this date and time. And here I was, I think I was a junior at the time. And I said, Oh my God, I remember this. This is the group I said, like all those years ago. I. I think I should go, you know, and um, so I rented a car and which I didn’t have a car at that time, you know, it was like kind of a big deal to rent a car and I invited my roommate to come and journeyed to Manchester, Mass, which now is literally the next town over from where I’m currently living, which is funny.

Elizabeth Carrington: And I drove to the high school and I watched the show. You had to go to the show and then you auditioned after. So I went to the show and after the show, they invited anyone from the audience. It feels like they might want to join. And I went back and this is just, you know, funny moments in life. Right. [00:05:00] So I went back, they interviewed me and they said, why should you, you know, this is, it was more of a personality audition than it was a music musical edition.

Elizabeth Carrington: Cause I I had some musical experience, but I wasn’t going to travel and be a part of the band or be a soloist. I wasn’t a great talent or anything, but I energetically felt like I just had to do this. So I sat there and I just said, you know, you don’t know it, but you want me. I love that energy. I was auditioning for a spot in like, A very low chance of one in eight chance I would get it.

Elizabeth Carrington: And I just was so clear and so determined and so much a match, you know, that I was just like, okay, this has to be on my path. You know, anyway, I ended up traveling with them and it was an eye opening. Life changing broadening, you know, it’s like travel just is a broadening experience of seeing that everything isn’t America centric.

Elizabeth Carrington: Everything isn’t about the family I grew up in. Everything isn’t about the beliefs that I’m holding that I [00:06:00] thought were the right way of thinking about the world because I grew up in this town with a small, you know, enclosed environment. So. I, I, I think there are moments that you see what’s possible, right, as a human being, and you step into them.

Elizabeth Carrington: If you’re lucky, you know, there’ve been other ones that I didn’t step into, I’m sure, but I’m not telling you about those. There are things that I passed up that, you know, you can go back, but that was a moment of seeing. And I think I had the same impetus when I heard about coaching. So I was, You know, flash forward, 28 years old.

Elizabeth Carrington: I’m like, I had come back from up with people. I was probably severely depressed because after a year of traveling the world and seeing and being with all these people from all over the world and staying in families and, you know, doing this beautiful heart opening show and doing all this community service.

Elizabeth Carrington: I mean, I was just like, this is living, you know.

Serena Reynolds: Let’s talk a little bit more about that before we go into your, your current position. [00:07:00] Where did you travel? I mean, you say the world, where, where, where did you go? Let’s, let’s hear some places.

Elizabeth Carrington: Yeah, you know, I’m terrible with numbers, but it was something like 23 states and 13 countries, you know, so it was around that.

Elizabeth Carrington: Don’t quote me on that exactly, but I’d have to look at the tour short to shirt to count them up, but we were on a bus traveling all through the U S. So we were all over from New England down to South to West Virginia, to Texas, to, you know, to this whole North, South, East middle of the country. and then we jumped on a plane on the 1st of January and we went to Finland, uh, Norway, Sweden, Denmark.

Elizabeth Carrington: Um, uh, I ended up going to Estonia. A bunch of the cast went to Rio de Janeiro for the Earth Summit conference. A bunch of the cast went to Bermuda. I chose to go to Estonia because I was so curious about what the, the, they had just, the wall had come down. It was just like becoming a big You know, it was coming out of communist communism, and [00:08:00] they were struggling to find their themselves as a country and as a people and anyway, I was just fascinated with what happens in this scenario.

Elizabeth Carrington: So, you know, and going to Scandinavia in the darkest time when it was night almost all the time and it, you know, it was just a unique time to be there jumping in saunas and lakes in the freezing cold and, and sauna a naked with the family you were staying with, because that’s what they did, you know, I mean, these were all these like, wow, experiences from cultural to personal to, you know, um, there’s a lot of expansion of reality that happened at that time.

Serena Reynolds: So I’m going to ask this question because I don’t know whether this is whether that what is up with people.

Elizabeth Carrington: It’s a, it’s a community service oriented leadership organization was founded by a man named Blanton Belk who had this idea that if you could bring. a group of people from around the country, uh, world, sorry, around the world together in a microcosm experience to [00:09:00] learn about each other, break down stereotypes, understand more deeply that we’re all humans at the end of the day and we live in very different structures and realities and religions and culture, you know, that you could create more of a peaceful, harmonious world.

Elizabeth Carrington: You know, it was a, it was a beautiful vision for humanity. And it happened for decades and decades that this organization kept, you know, it only in the last, you know, I think it was 20 years. Has it really? But it had been around for like 70 years when I was a part of it. So it was a very beautiful vision that he planted a seed for in the world.

Sara Ferrer: So this kind of sets us up now where I think you had mentioned at 28 years old. Correct me if I’m wrong. Is that when you started getting into coaching? Is that around that time? And I guess where I’d like to kind of take it from here is, you know, nowadays, Serena and I, we’ve, we’ve talked to. Life coaches, attunement coach, you know, uh, variations of coaching.

Sara Ferrer: I think right now it’s, it’s become very buzzy, you know, a lot of people have heard about it or [00:10:00] perhaps are, are becoming certified in it, but 28 years old. This sounds like something you’ve been doing for a long time before it may be, you know, before you even really had a name or people really understood it.

Sara Ferrer: So can you really explain to us? When you got into it, what it looked like, what the purpose was, how it’s evolved and kind of the journey now of coaching, but really again, from your experience of doing this for how many years total, have you been doing this more, more or less about. About 30 years. So kind of walk us through your experience of like, this is kind of the OG way of what it used to be.

Sara Ferrer: And here’s what I built. And, and maybe here’s how things are adapting. Cause I see on your website, we’ve got intimacy there. We’ve got sleep. We’ve got a plethora of different, of different topics. So it just seems like you have a breadth of experience within this realm. Just speak to us about getting into it.[00:11:00]

Elizabeth Carrington: Yeah, well, I liked what you said about I’ve been doing it a long time, even by the time I was 28 years old, I was doing it a long time, uh, in my early family, facilitating conversations and being a bit of a go between. And, you know, and so when a friend told me, It’s exactly what he said to me. You’re already this, there’s a profession now, you know, cause I had signed up to get my master’s in social work.

Elizabeth Carrington: Cause I thought, well, I’ll facilitate couples and I’ll work with people that are like having a little struggle, but have a really solid base. Like I didn’t want to go into therapy particularly. I wanted something else. I wanted to do here forward, here forward. That’s what I kept saying, but I didn’t know there was such a profession at the time and there wasn’t.

Elizabeth Carrington: So this man friend who I’m still friends with today came and said, I found your dream job. I found your job. You know, I found your work and this is a new profession. There’s this guy named Thomas Leonard who’s, you know, coaching. This is what he’s calling it. He’s a former [00:12:00] CPA, but he’s dealing with so much more than people’s books and he wants to help them have a better life.

Elizabeth Carrington: And the numbers are showing the picture of that, you know, it was like this whole idea. There were people that were going to now get trained to do not that needed to be CPAs of people that wanted to help people in their whole life, create more of what they want. Anyway, so he started a school called Coach University, you know, most generic name, but it was the perfect name because it was really, he was helping birth a new profession and informalize it.

Elizabeth Carrington: You know, coaching has always happened in, in conversations with friends and, you know, but not in the way that he was defining it. Not like I’m going to give you some advice because I know you really well and not in the way that, you know, Oh, I just want to empathize with you. Life is hard. I get it. But in a way to give you skills and tools to facilitate a forward moving conversation that honors who the person is, their values, their purpose, their intentions in life, you know, and so anyway, piece by piece, this

Elizabeth Carrington: profession started to iterate itself and to grow. And [00:13:00] most of what he taught was how to facilitate conversations that were powerful for people to understand themselves more deeply, to understand buyers more clearly, to give them some accountability, to creating what they really want, rather than this is a dream I have.

Elizabeth Carrington: I really want to do this thing. And then it’s like. Yeah, but then you write it in your journal and then it’s like next year comes and you’re like, Oh, I forgot about that. But no, you’re going to pay somebody to talk to them every week and tell them about your intentions and desires and dreams. And the person is going to say to you on the next conversation.

Elizabeth Carrington: So how’s it going with that dream that you have, you know, and what have you done to make it more of a reality? So when I learned about coaching back in, The mid nineties. That was the type of coaching. I learned about facilitating conversations that were, you know, important and holding people accountable to their dreams and desires.

Elizabeth Carrington: And it was a breakthrough kind of idea of how to be with somebody. I mean, that was like how [00:14:00] to get out of the way as a human being and not say, Oh my God. Yeah, I totally get that. That’s what I do too. Nope. No, I hear you. That’s a challenge for you. How can I support you? Let’s have a conversation about that, staying more invisible in the conversation, facilitating and putting the spotlight consistently and continually on the other person, you know, and evoking their wisdom and evoking their own inherent intuition and knowledge about themselves and where their blocks are and then you.

Elizabeth Carrington: facilitating a conversation through. So that is what I would think was the original iteration and intention of traditional, now I call it traditional coaching. Really amazing. It was, I think it was a gift to the planet to bring this type of relationship to the fore.

Sara Ferrer: Like did people get it? Like in the mid 90s where, where was it easy to find people who said, Oh, I get this.

Sara Ferrer: This is great. Or do people go, wait, like therapy is not even really a thing. We’re not talking about that in the open. Like, this is weird. I don’t want to tell you about my dreams. I don’t want to be helped. Like, did people get it? Was there a [00:15:00] struggle? How did you find people who went, yes, I want, I don’t just want that service.

Sara Ferrer: I want to pay for that service.

Elizabeth Carrington: Yeah. I, the answer is yes to both. There are people that were like, what the heck? And people that were like, Oh my God. And I happened to move from Boston, San Francisco, California at the time that I started being a coach. And it was, it was just grace and fortuitous luck that I did that because it was more of course of a thing out there.

Elizabeth Carrington: People were more open. And businesses was starting to say, Oh. You were holding the manager accountable to what they said their goals were for the quarter. You know, what would that look like? So it could be applied in different environments, but the, the, the through line is the focus is on the other person.

Elizabeth Carrington: There’s accountability, there’s structure, there’s a fee. So there’s an investment from the other person in the time or an investment from the company. But if the company is investing in you, you’re going to show up. the appointment. You’re going to do the work. You’re going to learn about yourself.

Elizabeth Carrington: Assessment tools came online. People were like, Oh, let me raise my self awareness about my [00:16:00] communication style or my ego. My way, I’m wired, whatever those different assessments of which there are many. And so the idea of self awareness being a leadership skill started to become in the consciousness, you know?

Elizabeth Carrington: So, and I remember in the mid nineties, there was an article in, uh, what was it? Some business magazine entrepreneur or something was saying that the coaching was the fastest growing profession in the country at the time. So. Yes, a lot of people were very curious and intrigued and leaning in and then many people were thinking that they would never in a million years be weak enough to need that type of support or they weren’t a problem that they, you know, that they could solve it with a friend or with themselves.

Elizabeth Carrington: They’re resourceful in their own ways, you know, so both were true. So at the time there was a growing intrigue and also some resistance.

Serena Reynolds: I, I see coaching as more as showing the path as opposed to shoving somebody. I don’t know. Yeah. Walk [00:17:00] us through that.

Sara Ferrer: Like walk us through that. So like, so if someone’s listening now and they go, let’s say they’re skeptical, cause we always like to play the role of skepticism.

Sara Ferrer: Cause I think that, that best illustrates kind of, you know, what, what is the path forward? But if someone says, Hey, like, okay, fine, Elizabeth, I’m going to meet up with you. Like what are you going to tell me? Like, what’s the script going to look like? Can you enlighten us into like. What, what your, your role is or what maybe a mini session would look like high level, just to enlighten somebody who maybe says, Oh, this sounds so woo.

Sara Ferrer: I don’t need it. I already have a therapist.

Elizabeth Carrington: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, therapy has a place. Coaching has a place. Both are valuable and important at different junctures in life. Right. As you explore. Why things happen the way they did and you go back and you make some maps of your early your family tree or you understand the dynamics between how on the maternal line this quality came down and you you delve into that more deeply and you have a few punching sessions or you have a few grief sessions right where [00:18:00] you’re really grieving the relationship you never had with your mother who died early like all of that is profound and powerful and growth and expansive producing right and healing.

Elizabeth Carrington: And then the coach, you know, in this kind of black and white model, which it’s not of course, but I’m just for the sake of right. Your explanation, because I see a lot of, a lot, a lot of overlap coaching is also healing, expansive and growth producing. Right. But it’s more from the place of there is a challenge that I’m.

Elizabeth Carrington: right facing or something that I’m wanting that’s super important to me. And I don’t seem to be able to find within myself or within my community, my friends, the ability to hold myself to this thing. That’s really important to me. And I’m struggling with my communicating with my boss. I feel like every time I communicate with my boss , I get eclipsed.

Elizabeth Carrington: Like I come in there already to ask for what I want and need. And then I don’t. Make the ask and I don’t know why, and I want to understand that, or, [00:19:00] you know, these are the kinds of things people come to coaching traditionally for they are unable to manifest it of their own volition and having that energetic and verbal and, you know, support is going to make a huge difference.

Elizabeth Carrington: I would say that’s a a decent, you know, between the two, more understanding and excavating, and more questioning, challenging, and then being held accountable forward. You know, in the old days they used to say, it’s like looking out the windshield or the rearview mirror. Again, another complete oversimplification.

Elizabeth Carrington: There you have it for an idea.

Serena Reynolds: So Elizabeth, what’s one of the most proudest moments you’ve had as a, as a coach?

Sara Ferrer: Yeah. Because this is, I mean, this is how you speak about it so well. Like I, it’s, it’s, it’s explained and I understand what you’re saying or you’re, you’re really simplifying this down for us, which I appreciate, but you’re still adding breath to it.

Sara Ferrer: So like, yeah, you know a lot about this. Great question, Serena. Let’s hype you up, girl.

Elizabeth Carrington: And there’s so many lovely [00:20:00] moments of just feeling like I’ve had an impact. I think that’s how I’m wired is I want to have a positive impact on people. I want to give them more access to more freedom, joy, and aliveness.

Elizabeth Carrington: Those are my words, you know, and to feel empowered. And later in the life attunement work, it’s empowered to heal themselves. Right. But in general, I want people to feel like they have their voice, their truth, their Right. And so, uh, I have a client who believe it or not, it’s such a funny that she comes up.

Elizabeth Carrington: So when I first started coaching, when I lived in California, I. She came to me as a very young, I think she was in her late teens, maybe very early twenties. She was just starting a brand new job as an HR person. And she was just like told that she had to take on this job and she didn’t really know exactly what she was doing, but she had a pretty good idea and she was super smart.

Elizabeth Carrington: So she was a sponge to learn quickly. So [00:21:00] anyway, we. And I guided her and in some learning the job as she was, you know, kind of discovering it and also giving her some tools, some assessment tools that were very powerful to help her teams that she was working with understand themselves. Better and therefore be more effective communicators.

Elizabeth Carrington: And as we all know, communication is the key to solving almost everything. So they were able to be more empowered and more see the theme of empowerment here keeps coming up. So, so I was able to empower her to empower them. It was a joy ride. So anyway, I worked with her for just a couple years and then flash forward, like eight or nine years later, she had done very well and she was promoted and she was stepping into a bigger HR role, a more senior one.

Elizabeth Carrington: And she was still very young. Very smart, very curious, a sponge. And so then we, her, her boss at the time said, you got coached up. I coached her up, you know, and really what I did is I just kind of held a lot of space for her to learn and stretch herself and challenge [00:22:00] herself and grow and expand, you know, and that happened.

Elizabeth Carrington: And then 10 years later. She got into like a really big role and a really hot, you know, like partnering with the CEO of the company as an HR person is a big, you know, it’s a big step. And so she’s an HR business partner in the, in the best sense of the word. Um, and now she comes back and she’s had some kids and she’s had a challenging relationship and she’s had, you know, whatever she’s had.

Elizabeth Carrington: Uh, in life, you know, which happens to all of us and, and she’s going to go through a divorce and she’s this high achiever career woman, but she’s very, very, very stressed and struggling around her relationship. And she wants to live happily ever after. And she wants the kids to have the stable life that she had growing up.

Elizabeth Carrington: And she is really up against the question of, can I do this? Can I really, is it going to be costly to my kids to see me not happy, but stay together as a. You know, like as a family, but also the pain of I’m not happy every day. I don’t feel deeply loved and respected by [00:23:00] this man. And I don’t, you know, I don’t want to keep doing this, but I should I.

Elizabeth Carrington: So anyway, we go through this whole process of discovery and really me deeply listening to her heart’s desire and her listening to her heart’s desire. And what is the right thing to do? And, you know, she makes the choice to. Move on and to leave this man and to reinvent her whole life, you know, two homes to, you know, like lots of things with three kids.

Elizabeth Carrington: Right. So she is now, I would say happier than she’s ever been, or at least in recent decades been. She feels free and alive and she’s more expressed with her kids. And she’s showing her kids what it looks like to be a happy. Woman. And yes, it’s a divorce. And on paper, that’s a bummer. And nobody really ever wants that when they get married.

Elizabeth Carrington: That’s never what any of us are signed up for, but that was the right thing. And it was in her truth and integrity to do that. And, and her career is handled like that’s not anything she needs support in. This was the deep personal exploration that she needed to find her own [00:24:00] truth and freedom. And I just I celebrate, you know, that journey over the years.

Elizabeth Carrington: It’s not been like that with every client. Not everyone comes back, you know, over the course of a really a lifetime, you know, but that’s one that just comes to mind because we had an earlier conversation this morning and I’m so I’m proud of her in the sense of like, not like a parent is proud of their child, but I’m proud of her deep soul searching to find her really authentic truth and.

Elizabeth Carrington: Discover what was her right for her and having the courage to then execute on it because there’s one thing to really know and there’s another thing to really do and I feel like the partnership and the synergy and the support and the knowing that I have for her courage and strength and holding that with her throughout and holding it for her sometimes when she forgot was a really, you know, contributed to having her have a better quality of life for the next You know, 20 years or whatever, so I’m proud of [00:25:00] that.

Serena Reynolds: That’s a really nice phrase, holding it for her when she’d forgotten to. I really like that. That’s, uh Like a warm hug.

Elizabeth Carrington: Yeah, I mean, in some ways, that’s what the best of coaching right there, what you called out, Serena, is you hold for the person their dream, or you hold their vulnerability, or you hold the tenderness of which they are afraid to execute on something that really matters to them.

Elizabeth Carrington: You hold their Fundamental capacity and resilience for them when they forget. And that’s been what I’ve had held for me when I’ve had great coaches, you know, that have held me in that place of you’ve got this, Elizabeth, in this deep place of you will find your way through this. You always do look at your past, look at what you’ve created, look at what you’ve been able to overcome.

Elizabeth Carrington: You’ve got this. And having somebody that’s totally dedicated to holding that is like. Maybe one of the biggest blessings to me, you know,

Sara Ferrer: I love that. I, I, I [00:26:00] wonder I, this, this was a great story. I, I, even like, I don’t obviously know this woman, but I’m like, yeah, go her. Like, cause you mentioned like, which I really appreciate it too.

Sara Ferrer: Whereas, um, you know, yeah, on paper, it’s a, it’s a bummer, you know? And yes, it’s in life. It’s a bummer. But to your point, you know, if it doesn’t fill your heart’s desire, then like, what does it matter if it’s on paper, if it looks great, if you’re miserable, so what can. You know, there’s probably a lot of people listening.

Sara Ferrer: This is a very natural life experience to be going through something that again, you know, how do I want to look on paper versus what the reality is? Is there anything that you’ve been in the profession now for 30 years that, you know, uh, absolutely seeking a coach out is a great step. What if someone says, Hey, listen, like, what is something I can just start doing in my day to day, even before pursuing a coach, but maybe, um, a routine, a mantra, something that you can kind of give out as a, as a freebie or as a first step to finding one’s true self or listening to one’s, one’s, one’s, you know, inner self.

Sara Ferrer: [00:27:00] What’s maybe a little tidbit that you can give out as doing at home to begin the process of self exploration?

Elizabeth Carrington: So how do I make this into a self activity? Because sometimes I’ll just ask a client a question for a few minutes. Like, the same question for a few minutes, which seems like a long time when you’re being asked the same question over and over.

Elizabeth Carrington: Yeah. Like awkward. Like, what do you really want? What do you really want? What do you really want? Right. For three minutes or whatever. Right. So I think about that in terms of like a journal and a pen. Yeah. Yeah. What’s important to me or what do I really want this year or what am I feeling grateful for?

Elizabeth Carrington: You know, there’s wonderful exercises and gratitude journals that just that in of itself is a beautiful practice just for like three minutes, like not a lot of time. Some people start at the beginning of their day, some people the end of the day. So if that catches you, what are you grateful for? Do that one.

Elizabeth Carrington: You know, if you have a hard time connecting with your [00:28:00] feelings because you’re always so busy and, you know, doing, doing, doing, then ask yourself a different question. You know, ask yourself, what’s in my heart right now? How does, how is my heart feeling in this moment? You know, if that’s, if that’s the place that’s elusive to you, right?

Elizabeth Carrington: Or if you have a hard time with challenges, you know, how do I want to challenge myself right now? What’s important for me? How is it important for me to challenge myself? You know, this is like play with something. Really feels like it lights you up like, Ooh, yeah, I’m curious about that. Because I think curiosity, it’s, it’s actually a skill, you know, it’s a muscle that we develop and a lot of people’s muscles of curiosity is, is quite well, you know, kind of placid.

Elizabeth Carrington: Right. And so when you learn how to be curious with it, it’s a coaching skill, they teach it in coaching school, how to, it’s part of getting out of the way. It’s like, put your attention over there and be curious. This person is in full on meltdown. Oh, wow. Isn’t that like, I’m noticing that you’re really upset right now.

Elizabeth Carrington: Tell me what’s going on with you [00:29:00] in just going into full on. I wonder, how are you? How are you feeling? What’s going through your head, whatever, you know, just curiosity. So that kind of curiosity with ourselves, I think is a Full process, right? Just to turn that energy toward.

Sara Ferrer: I love that. But then I always saw, I want to be curious, but then the emotional part goes, you know, then, then I assign an emotion to it.

Sara Ferrer: Right. And I think a lot of people struggle with that where it’s like, you know, the curiosity is there, but also is the self, you know, the, the self critical, the, you know, the, so like how, so what I’m hearing is it’s a practice to separate from curiosity without attaching. Perhaps a feeling or not even a feeling without, without attaching some type of conclusion.

Sara Ferrer: Like, is this making sense?

Serena Reynolds: If we, if we can just, just go back to your, your former, your, your client, or the woman you were just talking about. I mean, I was, when you were telling that story, I was just thinking about, you know, my own mother. [00:30:00] You, you mentioned very early on in the story about she wanted her, her children to have the same kind of supportive family she’d grown up in.

Serena Reynolds: My, my mother was a a stay at home mum, she didn’t have that. She didn’t have any freedoms. She, it was expected that she would stay with the marriage and everything else. Not that I’m saying that there was problems, not problems. I’m not going into my parents relationship. It’s only just been recently that we, that as women, we’ve been empowered even to have a career, to be able to make these life choices for ourselves.

Serena Reynolds: And do you not, um, is there a lot of guilt? Is there? Is there a lot of issues based around our, I don’t know, our perceived lives that, I don’t, I don’t know, that we’ve already got into our own heads that this is how it’s supposed to be? Is, is that an issue that comes up?

Elizabeth Carrington: Oh, for sure. For sure. I mean, it’s a question [00:31:00] of like, you have so much bandwidth, right?

Elizabeth Carrington: And if you’re a big career person, which, you know, some people are just naturally drawn to being expressed professionally in a certain way, and you have a heart of a mother, those are very hard to reconcile sometimes. I don’t know any career who’s been super focused on being successful in a. In a career, professional, whatever environment and hasn’t grappled with, have I given my kids enough?

Elizabeth Carrington: Have I been there? Have I enough quality time, right? Have they gotten what they really needed from me to have a great life? We want our kids to have an even better life than we’ve had in some instinctive way. We want them to have it better than we did, you know, and so did I, did I achieve that? You know, I think it’s always a grappling in as a mother, you know.

Elizabeth Carrington: That is happening all the time, you know, Oh, I’m going to do this late night meeting here with my boss because my boss needs me to be here and yet I don’t put my child to bed and he’s having a hard time or he’s losing his tooth or he’s [00:32:00] whatever, right? Like always this tug of war in some way in our heartstrings, you know, going on.

Elizabeth Carrington: So I think it’s a real thing. I mean, my mother didn’t have that. She was at home. That was, she knew where she was, but also, you know, she didn’t have a lot of choice around. You know, now that women have more and more capacity and are earning and taking care of themselves financially, it’s like, you know what, if the relationship doesn’t work and we’ve given it our all and we’ve made that hard choice, okay, I’m not terrified to separate or divorce because I have an income stream and I don’t have to be dependent on that from someone else.

Elizabeth Carrington: So there’s, we have a lot more choices. in this day than our mothers did, you know.

Serena Reynolds: But are we still crippled by fear of, of doing the wrong thing? Are we, are we still fighting the old stereotypes of, you know, like you said, you know, you haven’t put little Timmy to bed or, or, Whatever the scenario is. I mean, [00:33:00] we all know as, as business women, if we’re parents as well, that, you know, you can only be doing one thing good at a time.

Serena Reynolds: So, you know, if you’re, you’re putting Timmy to bed, you’re not writing that proposal. If you’re, you know, if you’re writing that proposal, you’re not putting Timmy to bed. It’s that simple. We have to give and take it. It’s a tug of war. So that’s. That’s really where I was going with that. I love that women are just getting the power now to be able to make these life decisions.

Serena Reynolds: And it’s really so new to us. It’s not, it’s not generations ago. It’s literally my parents.

Elizabeth Carrington: Yeah, you’re right. I, I kind of took it for granted in a way because I was just. I don’t know. I just was found something professionally. I wanted to do and that was sort of how it resonated with my values and my purpose.

Elizabeth Carrington: I want to contribute. I want to empower. I want to free people. I want to, you know, uh, help them become more. And of course, I’m going to have a profession and jump in at a young age. It wasn’t even a question, you know, so there was no guilt for [00:34:00] me. There was no like hesitation. It was just what I did. Right.

Elizabeth Carrington: But you’re right. Just my mother didn’t have that option and didn’t. You know, you could say she didn’t create it for herself either. I don’t know. That’s a little bit of a, you know, funny. It was a different time. It was a different template. It was a different generation. I get that, you know, it wasn’t, but also there are women of our parents generation that did have careers and they did say, you know what, I’m, I’m doing this anyway.

Elizabeth Carrington: So I don’t know. Some people have a different calibration around expectations and culture and society and. are willing to not give a F about, you know, what people think. And if they’re going to be a bad mother, they just say, I’m going to do, do what I want to do. And they’ll be fine. You know,

Serena Reynolds: I dont think that makes you a bad mother.

Serena Reynolds: I think, I think, I think children just being around happy, happy mother, happy parents, happy, whatever the situation is, is, is really such the, the, the foundation for, for setting our kids up.

Sara Ferrer: And [00:35:00] Elizabeth, it seems like, you know, during, during your, your long career where you, you help so many women, right?

Sara Ferrer: You’ve helped so many women essentially, but it kind of boils down to, and correct me if I’m wrong, but it really boils down to you have given them the space to say yes to themselves. You have given them, you’ve held that space, you’ve facilitated that, that process. You know, hearing your journey, I’m going to ask you, we typically do as the, as the podcast kind of comes to.

Sara Ferrer: Comes to this point where we ask every guest a question from a previous guest. And our previous guest Renee asked the question that I posed to you, when was the last time that you said yes? To yourself. And so I’d love to know as, as again, I find it so fitting because she didn’t know that you’re, you know, that you were going to be a life attunement coach, she just said, like, I want to ask this to [00:36:00] the next person.

Sara Ferrer: So I thought, wow, how fitting you have dedicated your career to holding space for women. What else space and said yes to yourself lately to give it, give us some insight on that.

Elizabeth Carrington: So I just made a radical, you know, it’s funny that I told the story of my client because I really, as a coach, you learn that you are always.

Elizabeth Carrington: Riding side saddle with your clients and you’re either, you know, in the same journey and you’re coaching them and you feel like you’re coaching yourself or you’ve just gone through something and you’re coaching them and you really are giving hindsight, wisdom, perspective, asking questions you wish somebody would have asked you, you know, it’s an interesting little synchronistic mix energetically around being a coach.

Elizabeth Carrington: But all that to say is as my client was determining her heart’s truth and desire. I had two other people that were. Soul searching around their own marriages. Um, I was doing the same thing and, uh, I had been in a 13 year [00:37:00] relationship and, and really thought that this was the grow old, you know, scenario.

Elizabeth Carrington: And I really had to take a very. Hard look at was this my adventure partner for the next years of my life? You know, is this the person I wanted to this wasn’t about raising kids. It wasn’t about finding a father It wasn’t about even providing for me. It was about like I want a playmate. That’s truly what I want and Getting clear on that and then looking at him and saying is this my playmate, you know, and the answer was no And it was hard, it was really hard to summon the courage to implement that because I sort of knew it and then I knew it a little stronger and then I really knew it and then my clients were bringing it back to me with their questions.

Elizabeth Carrington: It was in my face and as they were popping and getting clear, it was like I was right with them, you know, and one day it just really popped and it was really the right time. And so this just [00:38:00] happened a few months ago. And so I just, you know, respectfully and lovingly said, I’m complete in this relationship.

Elizabeth Carrington: And you know, I feel like on one hand, I kind of, you know, my whole life kind of. It also coincided with my one child leaving for college. So it was like the nest was Evacuating and then the partnership, right? So now it just changed everything for me. And so it’s had a huge ripple effect, but the, the, the, the, the deep optimistic knower in me, the same one that said to up with people that I’m going to do this, um, that deep soulful part of me that knows the right thing.

Elizabeth Carrington: That’s a fun example. This was a hard example, but that’s the. Thread in my consciousness is the deep knower of what’s true and right. And that was true and right. And even though I go through some grief and I go through some regret, not really regret, that’s not the right word, but like, it’s a big change, right?[00:39:00]

Elizabeth Carrington: But inside my heart. It’s doing a happy dance because it honored the deep knowing of me doing what’s right and true for my soul.

Sara Ferrer: First

Sara Ferrer: of

Sara Ferrer: all, thank you for sharing that because I know that these moments are very personal, very deep, but that hits on something that I always wonder, too. It’s like, you know, they always say, like, You know, you know it best when it’s your profession, but when it comes to like yourself or your family, you know, it’s like, it’s a wash, you know, it’s, it’s like you, you can be a doctor, you come home, someone’s sick and they’re like, Oh, I don’t want to talk to you.

Sara Ferrer: I want to call the doctor. You’re like, I’m a doctor. Or like, you know, even if you are a doctor, it’s like, you might not have the best diet. You might not be living the lifestyles. You’re other, you’re telling other people to live. So I really appreciate that example because A, it came through the humanity in you, right?

Sara Ferrer: You’re a real person. You experience real things. But you touched on something I thought that was so, so, so powerful, which is like, you didn’t paint the picture of like, I have all the answers and I went through hardship and like, it was great because I know that, no, no, I, I honor the grief, I honor the, what could have [00:40:00] been the, maybe the expectations that have changed and like, thank you for saying that, because I think it’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to be human.

Sara Ferrer: Despite the fact that you might be the strong person or other people, it’s okay to also be weak because weak eventually is a, is a sign of strength that you can allow yourself to. To feel that way. So that, that for me was very enlightening to hear that as opposed to just like, I went through something horrible, but guess what?

Sara Ferrer: I had zero bad days.

Serena Reynolds: So now that you’ve answered our last guest’s question, the next thing we need to know is what would be your question for our next guest? Oh, right. Yeah. We’ll put you on the spot. Yeah. It’s like pow pow, it’s a one two punch thing going on here. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Elizabeth Carrington: It would be about a, a hidden wish or desire that you haven’t expressed before, that you know in yourself is a longing in you, but you haven’t given voice to it.

Elizabeth Carrington: So, yeah, [00:41:00] what is that? For you.

Sara Ferrer: Love it.

Serena Reynolds: So you do intimacy and sleep just, just before we wrap up. So I think these are really important because these, these are things that don’t come up very often and we certainly have never spoken to an intimacy coach before, so. Tell us a little bit about that.

Elizabeth Carrington: So the addition, which I didn’t get to, um, which, you know, my bad for not bringing it forward sooner

Elizabeth Carrington: I was giving you too much background, but the, the ad of traditional coaching model to my now life attunement, which I named as a result of healing from chronic Lyme disease and 39 years of migraine pain was working with the body. So this is the add on part, right? So helping. Get to the root cause of what’s causing the pain or the issue or the struggle or the intimacy block or the communication block or the hormonal block or whatever.

Elizabeth Carrington: So, I do work in partnership with a, I call her a mystical intuitive, she [00:42:00] calls herself a medical intuitive. But anyway, either way, it’s by using kinesiology to muscle test to get to the root cause of what’s happening in the person that they’re struggling with X. And this is why I do such a variety of work.

Elizabeth Carrington: So intimacy. Yes. Sleep. Yes. Communication. Yes. Leadership. Yeah. Whatever it is that whatever the pain, the struggle, the chronic condition that is blocking you from more freedom, more empowerment or aliveness and more joy, right? Same thing. It’s all me. But this is because I’ve had a personal experience of using this kinesiology, this muscle testing, this ability to get and identify root cause.

Elizabeth Carrington: and how I healed myself when doctors said I would never recover from chronic Lyme and they said they didn’t know what to do with me after 39 years of mind bending pain, right? I used this methodology with myself and then I thought, well, if I can use this to identify my own personal blocks, why can’t I use that with any client that [00:43:00] has any challenge, any struggle, any issue?

Elizabeth Carrington: So, 10 women in a group, every woman has a sleep challenge. Every single list of the root causes are always different. A lot of it can be a belief or an old emotion that’s trapped in their body from when they were young or when their child had a concussion and they still are vigilant because they need to release that old fear, you know, so.

Elizabeth Carrington: That is what I do. So in a, in a way I can work with any challenge or any stuck situation with a person and understand the root cause. And then I’ve learned all these modalities. Again, another add on to coaching these healing modalities to clear out past trauma, to clear out past old ideas that are too small for who we are and zero in on that.

Elizabeth Carrington: All over the phone, all virtually, you know, I can do these meditative energy release processes and help them shift. And that is my jam now, because that to me, like I suffered so long from these migraines. I can’t even [00:44:00] tell you, I was missing three days of work a week. I was in bed, you know, and to have them completely and totally gone using this.

Elizabeth Carrington: Now I can work with people with all kinds of unique conditions, you know, from. Body dysmorphia. I mean, like things that you really don’t hear a lot about, understand the root cause and shift the pattern. So that’s why I named it life attunement. Cause you’re tuning into yourself, physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, the whole across the board.

Elizabeth Carrington: So you can also call it. Holistic coaching if you want it, right, but it’s different than that traditional, I’m talking to you and engaging with you and evoking from you your truth and your clarity. Now there’s also, and there’s an emotional part and there’s a, you know, mental part. So that’s the life attunement build that I didn’t articulate.

Serena Reynolds: That’s the second time I’ve heard this now. This is very similar to, um, Colleen Norris. Yes. Yes.

Elizabeth Carrington: Yes, yes, yes. I don’t do the physical manipulation so much, right? But I, in a session, I would test to [00:45:00] see if she’s a match, and I have. Is this person a match to do some work with Colleen, for example, because that’s not my jam, right?

Elizabeth Carrington: Yes, she’s, she’s a joy, she’s a light. I refer out to people, a whole group of people. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I can’t do everything. I just want to leave people the right thing for them that they’re a yes to in their own intuitive knowing, right?

Sara Ferrer: That is that, that, that’s, you know, that’s the power of fearless and flawed for anyone who hasn’t listened to our podcast with, uh, with Colleen.

Sara Ferrer: She’s a chiropractor, wonderful story. And actually, I believe Elizabeth, you had. Reached out, um, as a result of that, that interview. So the, you know, life is a circle and, you know, I, I’m a big believer in the right type of energy attracts other similar energies. So this has been really wonderful. And for the listeners who was saying, okay, Elizabeth, like you’ve enlightened me, you, you, you, I kind of get the attunement thing, the sleep thing, the intimacy thing, but how the heck do I find you tell our [00:46:00] listeners where they can learn more about you, where they can reach you more, they.

Sara Ferrer: Where they can just investigate more about all the wonderful things you’re bringing to this world.

Elizabeth Carrington: So I would say just go to my website and book a 30 minute consultation with me and we can talk about whether or not this applies to you and can support you in whatever situation you’re grappling with.

Elizabeth Carrington: So it’s. Elizabeth hyphen Carrington. com Elizabeth hyphen Carrington with a C. Um, just like that old soap opera. Was it dynasty? Yeah.

Sara Ferrer: That’s awesome. Elizabeth, this has been such a treat talking with you. Thank you for enlightening us. And, uh, we wish you nothing but the best in your future endeavors.

Elizabeth Carrington: Thank you so much.