You don’t wait for it to leave. You out-evidence it. Ask the person who chose you why they chose you, keep a file of proof, and do the work while the voice is still talking. It quiets down with evidence, not affirmations.
Imposter syndrome has impeccable timing. It never turns up when you’re doing something easy. It arrives the day you’re promoted, the morning of the big pitch, the minute someone introduces you on a panel as “an expert.” (Who, me? Surely they mean the woman behind me.)
Why it’s harder than it sounds
It isn’t rare and it isn’t a quirk of your personality. A systematic review of 62 studies and more than 14,000 people found prevalence rates from 9% to 82%, depending on how it was measured. The same review found it common among both men and women, from teenagers to late-career professionals, and linked it with lower job performance, lower job satisfaction and burnout. So no, you’re not the only one in the room feeling it. You might be the only one admitting it.
The polite advice makes it worse. “Fake it till you make it” tells a woman who’s scared she’s a fraud to go and act like one. “Just believe in yourself” is lovely, and about as useful as “just relax” said to someone mid-panic.
New rooms set it off. One leader who spent her first 18 years in IT program management was handed a director job in org effectiveness at a major corporation. She was surrounded by people with org psychology degrees who’d done it for years. “I started off with a lot of imposter syndrome at that time,” she said. Later, simply: “I just didn’t believe.” Her boss could see why she was hired. She couldn’t.
What actually works
Borrow someone else’s belief until yours turns up
Her boss, the vice president of HR who’d picked her, pulled her aside and said, “I chose you for a reason and I need you to believe that.” Someone with skin in the game made a bet on you. Ask them why. Write the answer down. Read it before the next big meeting.
Keep a receipts file
A folder of screenshots. The thank-you email, the result you got, the client who renewed, the referral you didn’t ask for. Imposter syndrome argues from feelings. Make it argue with evidence. It loses.
Notice the body before the story starts
She’s blunt that your body knows you’re stressed before your brain catches up. “Our body sends us signals of the stress before we ever think I’m really stressed.” Tapping feet, scrunched shoulders, a voice that changes pitch. Spot your own signals and you get a choice about what happens next, instead of running on autopilot.
Learn, but don’t hide behind the next certificate
When she moved into the people side of the business, she thought she had to “go out and get something touchy feely,” so she got certified as a coach. Learning helps. But if you’re on your third course and still haven’t pitched anyone, the course is the hiding place.
Say it out loud to someone further along
Tell a mentor, a peer or a founder friend exactly what the voice is saying. Out loud, it usually sounds ridiculous. “I’m worried they’ll find out I’ve only been doing this for fifteen years.” Exactly.
Hear it from someone who’s done it
Andrea Wanerstrand spent 18 years in IT program management and more than 20 in leadership development. She now coaches leaders on stress, presence and culture. In the episode she explains where her imposter syndrome came from and what changed it. Jump to 3:32 for the moment her boss told her to believe it, or listen on the episode page.
FAQ
How do I become more confident?
Do the thing before you feel ready, then do it again. Confidence follows repetitions, not pep talks. Keep score of what went right, because your brain will only keep score of what went wrong.
How do I stop comparing myself to others?
Compare yourself to last year’s you instead. You’re seeing everyone else’s highlights and your own outtakes. That’s not a fair fight, so stop scheduling it.
How do I stop apologizing so much?
Delete “sorry” from every email where nothing went wrong. “Sorry to bother you” becomes “Quick one.” “Sorry, just checking in” becomes “Checking in.” Nobody misses the apology. They notice the woman who sounds sure of herself.
Your next step
Still think you’re not expert enough to have your own podcast? That’s the voice talking. Captrr, my company, makes podcasts for experts who are tired of being the best-kept secret. See how Captrr works.